Thursday, October 13, 2016

Wait 90 Days for Sex to Get Commitment? I Disagree!

I'm watching the Steve Harvey show, which I love. He's great. And today the topic is divorce and finding new people, and he has a couple of women with him onstage talking about sex. They believe that a woman should wait 90 days to have sex with a man in order to have a better chance at keeping him in a relationship.

I just want to say that there are exceptions to every rule!

I met my husband online back at the end of 2007. We chatted for a few days and then didn't talk again for a few months. After we reconnected, we made a date for him to come up and meet me and possibly spend the weekend with me.

Well, we had sex the first night.

And guess what? It didn't ruin the relationship! We got married!

I think every situation is different. I think that all too often, we have sex, and then one person gets more attached than the other. But if you get along really well and you're comfortable in your skin and you aren't too needy or too distant after that first round of erotic fun, then I think having sex on the first date is A-OK.

Sure, holding onto the goods can keep a man's interest, but I'm telling you from experience that if that is all he wants, it doesn't matter if you wait 9 hours or 90 days - once he gets it, he's gone. Let me repeat: if a man is only interested in you for sex, he will leave even if he has to wait for that sex.

Most men love sex. But not all men are looking for a relationship. Some are just looking for friends with benefits. Some are looking for sexy, secret affairs. Some are looking for lasting love and commitment. It all depends on the person and their goals and if you two are a good match.

That's my two cents on the matter. Thoughts?



Friday, October 7, 2016

Documentary Review: The Many Sad Fates of Mr. Toledano

I love the TV channel PBS World. When most daytime TV is terribly annoying and shallow, PBS always has something interesting being broadcast. Today, I had it on in the background and then found myself totally drawn in and absorbed into a short documentary called The Many Sad Fates of Mr. Toledano.

It follows the artist Mr. Toledano as he goes on a somewhat narcissistic yet still fascinating and relatable journey to create photos of the multiple possibilities of his own fate. He does this with the help of a fantastic makeup artist and other models/actors to help him create scenes. For instance, he stages situations of himself as morbidly obese, as an alcoholic drinking himself to death, a man who has committed suicide in the bathtub, etc.

I found the film to be haunting but also something important because we all think about death. Some of us think about it more than others, and I admit I probably ponder my own fate more than I should. It's not something fun, and for many of us, the thought of how we are going to end up as an older person and die is terrifying. But it's still a part of life.

Through the journey, Mr. Toldeano's wife was was worried the project would ultimately do him harm, and she was also concerned that she and their child was not pictured in any of the fates. But in the end, it actually helped him work through his demons. At first I thought it was very self-absorbed and self-defeating to not include his family in the pictures, but then I realized that we all truly do die alone, so maybe he was trying to reflect that with scenarios that were mostly alone, or at least without family.

If you get a chance, check it out. It's dark and cerebral, but if you're brave enough to ponder the more morbid things in life, and you appreciate good art, I think you'd like it. You can see the trailer below:

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Is Anyone Else Tired of the News Lately?

I've gotten so tired of the news lately. I feel like it swings back and forth between gloom and doom that makes you feel like the world's going to hell in a hand basket, and ridiculous bullshit that isn't really news. For instance, it'll focus on milking mass shootings and acts of terrorism for weeks and then switch gears to talk about who wore what gown to whatever weekly award show is going on. (And don't get me started on the overabundance of "award" shows!)

Is anybody else tired of it, or is it just me? I've gotten to where I won't even watch the regular network news anymore. Even the local NBC news I've quit watching. I've definitely stopped watching the Nightly News, even though I really do like Lester Holt. But aside from finding Holt to be a well-spoken, professional journalist, every damn night it's the same thing: Raging fires! Murder! Rape! Terrorism! Disease! etc. They usually have one maybe minute-long clip of something positive, like maybe a child who has survived cancer, but it's buried in all the depressing crap.

 If you're like me and you're over it, I think you'd really enjoy the movie Anchorman 2. It's such a fantastic parody of the state of modern news. Here's a clip from the film that pretty much sums things up when it comes to the pointless type of news that is such a waste of time:


 I'd much rather get lost in a good book ;)




Looking for a sexy new read with some substance? Come browse my titles such as my new reader-favorite THE ART HOUSE on my --> official website! <--. And thanks again for stopping by :)

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Flavorwire's 10 Guilty Pleasure Erotic Thrillers

Elizabeth Berkley in 'Showgirls'

Flavorwire posted a list earlier this month that consisted of their 10 favorite guilty-pleasure erotic thrillers. I've only seen two out of the ten: Showgirls and Fear.

I saw Showgirls when I was 14 or 15 years old. There was no way in hell that my mother would have ever let me watch an R-rated movie, much less an NC-17 one, so I watched it with a friend when I spent the night at her house. Her mom was a lot more laid back than mine. So Showgirls ended up being my first dirty NC-17 movie, and I remember being surprised by all the nudity but also had a hard time not laughing at how corny it was. Turns out, the general consensus on this film is that it's pretty cheesy and terrible, and even to my virgin eyes, I couldn't take it very seriously. Apparently Elizabeth Berkley is still having trouble living it down; I saw her and the cast of the 90s TV show Saved By The Bell get together for a reunion on Jimmy Fallon's Late Show not too long ago, and they were still giving her a hard time about it.

The other one on the list that I've seen is a movie called Fear with Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon. I saw this one when I was in 7th grade at a sleepover with my classmates. That night was the very first time I stayed up all night, so that alone was a big deal. I remember the movie being one of the first R-rated movies I'd ever seen, and one of the first movies with sex in it, and also that it had a pretty shocking scene involving a murdered dog. But it was a better film than Showgirls, even if it was a bit over the top, too.

You can see Flavorwire's full list --> here <--.




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Sunday, September 11, 2016

Writers Groups: Why Joining the Right One Can Rock

Writers groups are a dime a dozen these days. Seems like everyone wants to be a writer now and not always for the best reasons. Unfortunately, a lot of writers these days are self-serving and write primarily because they want to make a quick buck, or they write for attention - the fickle spotlight.

But every now and then, you come across a writer who writes because he/she really loves a good story. These writers want to write because they love the process and the end result. They simply love telling a good story. As young readers, they fell in love with certain characters and other worlds within the beloved novels that they read growing up. They write today because they have a true passion for it. And these writers, when they come together, can be an awesome source of support and inspiration.

Why am I writing a blogpost about writers groups? Well, there's a new one on Google+ that I wanted to share with you. It's called the Romantic Raven Author Group, and it's my intention to make it a place for those serious writers who love their craft, specifically writers of romantic fiction, to come together and get to know one another, have fun, and grow as storytellers. I encourage you to try us out! If you're interested, please read the guidelines, and if you're good with it, just ask to join, and I'll be happy to add you. Just click the logo below!



Rainbow Awards Nomination

THE ART HOUSE is officially my first book that's ever been entered into the Rainbow Awards, which is an annual literary contest for LGBTQIA books. I'm still not entirely sure how the contest works, but I do know that their reading period goes from now until December, and they'll pick the official winners in December.

Somehow my book has already gotten an "Honorable Mention" from one of the readers/judges, which I think is pretty cool!

If you're interested, you can click the pic to see Elisa's review:

As an aside, I am excited that the first day of Fall is in a couple of weeks! This has always been my favorite time of the year. I enjoy reading books more as the weather gets cooler and inspires more wrapping up in blankets and sipping on hot drinks. The changing of the seasons always inspires my writing as well. I wrote THE ART HOUSE during the Fall, and the story takes place at that time, too. There's something magical about the transition season of Autumn. Maybe it's Halloween and all the fantastical decor people set up around their houses. Whatever it is, I love it.



Friday, September 2, 2016

Pam Anderson Joins Crusade Against Porn

Yes, you read that title correctly.

In an article I just read on The Rolling Stone's website, Pamela Anderson has joined up with a rabbi to write an op-ed on how bad porn is, and claims it's "for losers."

**Sigh** This makes me sad because I love Pam. And I'm not going to criticize her for what seems like hypocritical words coming from a former Playboy model, but I am going to challenge some of the ideas from the op-ed that were highlighted in the Rolling Stone article. (I don't have access to Wallstreet Journal, where the full op-ed is located, so I'm just going off of a few key quotes.)

Pam and the rabbi state that porn addicts (people who have tried to stop watching it but can't) comprise about 9% of porn watchers, which is the same stat of marijuana addicts. Well, I'd like to point out the 91% of people who watch porn (and who smoke weed) don't have an addiction.

People can also be addicted to anything. Take for instance food, which leads to obesity, which is a serious health epidemic here in America. People lose family members to early deaths. Health care costs skyrocket, leaving families in debt. Yet fast food restaurants stay in business without anyone writing op-eds saying "French fries are for losers!" Some people are addicted to exercise. Some people are workaholics. People can get addicted to anything.

The Rolling Stone article goes on to highlight the comparison of children who live in homes where there is porn to "crack babies." Never-mind the fact that the whole crack baby thing has been scientifically debunked. Parents whose children watch porn are just bad parents! Seriously, it is not the porn's fault. It'd be like parents giving wine (or weed) to young children. Of course it's going to screw them up because they're not physically or emotionally ready for things like that, things meant for adults! But to punish the responsible parents who may watch porn privately to spice up their sex life is unfair.

The RS article also points out that Pam Anderson and the rabbi say we need a "sensual revolution" where we focus more on eroticism than porn. But this opens up the never-ending debate of what exactly is porn vs what is erotica? Some people's erotica may be other people's porn, and vice versa. To some people, Pam Anderson's spreads in Playboy would be considered porn - after all, they're images meant to titillate. And the same goes for erotica or movies or books with erotic content. They're all meant to titillate. But so is porn.

Now, I'm not a fan of porn that promotes any sort of abuse or violence. I'm totally against porn that exploits victims of sex trafficking and also underage porn, which is illegal. But I see nothing wrong with sexy images and/or videos made by consenting adults with the intent to spice up someone's sex life. I love my good orgasms as much as the next person. I've watched porn before, but can say with confidence that I am not addicted to it. I can take it or leave it. But according to Pam, I'm a "loser" for watching it at all.

So, blog readers, what do you think about all this?




Have you browsed my erotic short collections on my website? Just click --> here! <--.